Therapy is a collaborative process. What you bring into the room and how you use the time between sessions can make a real difference in your progress. These practical tips can help you get more from each appointment and build momentum over time.
Before each session: take a few minutes to prepare
You don’t need to script everything, but a short check-in helps. What’s been on your mind since you last met? What felt important? Did anything from the previous session stick with you—a question, an insight, or something you tried? Jot down two or three points so you don’t blank in the room. If something difficult came up and you’re nervous to talk about it, you can write it down and share the note with your therapist. That can make it easier to start.
Be honest—including about the therapy itself
Your therapist can’t read your mind. If something isn’t working—the pace feels too fast or too slow, you didn’t find an exercise useful, or you’re unsure where things are going—say so. Feedback helps them adjust. It’s also okay to say you don’t know what to talk about, that you’re angry, or that you’re not sure therapy is helping. Those are all useful things to explore. The more you bring your real experience, the more you’ll get out of it.
Use the space between sessions
What you do between appointments matters as much as the hour in the room. Try the strategies you discuss. Notice what happens when you do—and when you don’t. You don’t need to “succeed” every time; what you learn from trying (or avoiding) is valuable. If you promised to try something and didn’t, that’s worth mentioning. It often reveals something important about what gets in the way.
Ask questions
If you’re curious about your therapist’s approach, a term they used, or why they’re suggesting something, ask. You have a right to understand how they work. Good therapy is transparent. Questions like “What would that look like?” or “How does that fit with what we’ve been talking about?” can deepen the work and help you feel more involved.
Notice what helps—and tell them
When something lands—a reframe, a question, a homework task—notice it and share that. Therapists can do more of what works when they know. Equally, if something felt off or unhelpful, saying so (even gently) lets them adapt. You’re the expert on your own experience; your feedback fine-tunes the process.
Be patient with the process
Change rarely happens in a straight line. Some sessions will feel productive; others might feel slow or stuck. That’s normal. If you’re worried you’re “not getting anywhere,” bring that up. You and your therapist can look at progress together, adjust the focus, or simply sit with the feeling. Trust and insight often build in the less dramatic sessions too.
You don’t have to do all of this at once. Pick one or two ideas that resonate and try them. Over time, being an active, honest participant in your therapy becomes a habit—and that’s when the work tends to deepen most.